cinderella

Put ’em together and what have you got?

So this is my 45th post on this blog. When I came up with this idea a little over a year ago, I thought I might be able to come up with enough questions to last at least six months. I have had a lot of fun sharing my crazy and finding that there are a lot of other people out there that think the same way I do…not sure that is a good thing actually. That said, I believe that I am going to bring this blog close. I have a few more posts ready to go but plan to launch my last post on my 35th birthday, March 30. Ok, enough about that. On to today’s question…

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Do ends justify the means? I think in most scenarios we verbally disagree but when the outcome is favorable, we tend to overlook what it took to get us there. I think this is the case in Cinderella. We see Cinderella and the Prince living happily ever after and feel pretty darn good about it all. And I am sure that the Fairy Godmother would point to that fact and say that she had done her job properly. But did she? Did she really?

Cinderella’s life up to the point she encountered the lady in question had been anything but a fairy tale. She was already being raised by a single father when she is thrust into a less than happy mixed family. Shortly after she loses her father and becomes for all intents and purposes a slave to a tyrannical step-mother and step-sisters. While we don’t know how long this went on, it appears that this occurred for quite some time.  I’ll hazard a guess and say around 10 years.

And all this time Cinderella takes it in stride. It’s not like there is someone out there that could come in and take her out of this horrible situation. No one with magical powers that could magically free her from her captors or at least change some random objects into a means of escape. Oh, wait….there is! Enter the Fairy Godmother. I bet she will have a plan to save her charge. I mean, that’s what she is there for right? So, what’s the plan FG? What? Ok, let me get this straight. Your plan is to make her a pretty dress, horribly uncomfortable shoes and call her an Uber so she can get to a party? And then what? That’s it? That’s your contribution? And when a persistent prince and industrious mice save the day, you can smile and think ‘job well done?’ Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way for me. If I had my druthers, I would get her bibbity bobbity booted out of the Fairy Godmother Academy.

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Image Credit —> disney.wikia.com

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How come only the mice talk?

I’m not going to rule out that she is crazy. There is a strong possibility that our heroine has had ‘one too many hits with the snake.’ I wouldn’t blame her though. She loses her father and immediately becomes enslaved by her step-mother and step-sisters. Her only friends are the wildlife that come in through her open windows and doors. I mean, she wakes up in the morning singing so there has to be something amiss. But it still doesn’t make sense why only Jacques, Gus Gus and the other mice can speak, yet this skill alludes all of the other animals…even Lucifer! Or maybe they can talk and choose not to because she only makes outfits for those little rodents. I mean, Cinderella gets a whole dress meticulously designed by the local aviary residents and what do they get? A handkerchief on the head? I wouldn’t talk to her either…

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More to come. Follow me here —> @DadsQuestions

Image Credit: wikia.disney.com

Non-Definitive, Completely Biased Ranking of Disney Dads

This post is going to be a little different format from my typical pointless questioning. With Father’s Day just around the corner, it’s got me thinking about being a dad a little more than usual. When it comes to Disney, most of the father examples provided to us are what I would consider lacking. The ones that tend to be the best are often killed off as fast as they are introduced. So when I think about the question of who is the best Disney Dad, I decided it was only best to create a list of 15 Dads and rank them. Why 15? Because Father’s Day is on June 15th this year. (that’s not true…just a happy coincidence.)

(15 Disney Dads ranked Best to Worst)

1. James – The Princess & the Frog
This father is the perfect example of a good dad that is gone too quickly. He pops in, gives some good fatherly advice and then dies a hero. This guy is my number 1 because he doesn’t just talk a good game, the way he lived his life instilled values in his daughter that made her strong & self-sufficient.

Marlin - finding nemo2. Marlin – Nemo’s Dad in Finding Nemo
Sure he is over protective but after the loss of his wife and other kids, you can’t blame the guy. Stopping at nothing and facing his fears to find his kid across a whole ocean is definitely commendable. Rapunzel’s dad should’ve watched this movie on how to respond to a lost kid…Oh, and his jokes are terrible. That’s a prerequisite for an awesome dad!

Pongo

 

3. Pongo – 101 Dalmations
I have to say that Pongo is along the same caliber of dad-ness as Marlin. When his kids are taken, he and his wife do everything in their power to save them. He also is willing to adopt 84 other puppies and raise them as his own. He is dad to the bone. (sorry for that)

 

Mufasa4. Mufasa – Simba’s Dad in The Lion King
James Earl Jones’s voice can make anything sound more grand than it is.  This fact leads us to believe that Mufasa has this thing parenting down. Most think this dad should be number 1, but I have to disagree. Unfortunately we can see from Simba’s ‘Can’t wait to be King’ song, that he is learning more from Mufasa’s actions than his words.

5. King – Elsa & Anna’s Dad in Frozen
This dad has gotten a lot of slack for isolating Elsa but as I discussed in my previous post, that might not have been the worst idea for the Kingdom’s sake. That said, his isolation actions punish Anna as well and create lots of ‘daddy issues’ that result in an engagement to a scoundrel and the freezing of a kingdom.

6. King Triton – Ariel’s Dad in The Little Mermaid
Not only is he running a Kingdom but also raising six girls on his own. This would be a hilarious 80’s sitcom come to think of it. Triton gets grief for being prejudice against humans but I think we can assume this is well founded. His harsh treatment of his daughter’s fondness of the dark side is a little misguided but can’t fault him too much for it. However, I don’t understand him giving up so easily against Ursula (see post) nor changing his whole belief system regarding humans because of one good encounter with Eric.

7. Fa Zhou – Mulan’s Dad
At the end of the day, this guy is a product of the culture. His treatment of his daughter is based on societal norms. We find it limiting and wrong but that’s because we are looking at it from a western, twenty-first century perspective. So, let’s calm down. Plus, he is the coolest looking bald guy in all Disney movies for sure!

 

8. King Stefan – Sleeping Beauty’s Dad
So he’s willing to not see his daughter for 18 years in order to hide her and keep her safe. Then he has her brought back to the palace the last day BEFORE the curse ends? That’s a mix of amazing fortitude and poor planning. Couldn’t he have had the celebration the next day?

 

 

9. The Great Prince of the Forest – Bambi’s Father
If people don’t even realize that you are Bambi’s father until his mom dies, maybe you are being a little too aloof. This buck’s cold attitude toward Bambi can be seen by many as helping Bambi into manhood…but I think there could be a better way to do it.

 

10. King – Rapunzel’s Dad in Tangled
I give this guy a lot of credit for honoring his lost daughter for 16 years but the rampant security issues in his castle are one of the main contributing factors to his daughter’s kidnapping in the first place. Also, you would hope that if his guards scoured every inch of the countryside they would have come across the tower that held Rapunzel. He really needs to shore up his ship.

Cinderellas dad11. Aristocrat Widower – Cinderella’s Dad
Points to this guy for understanding the importance of a mother in a young girl’s life. But even more demerits for both being duped by and willingly marrying Lady Tremaine.

12. King – Snow White’s Dad (not pictured)
This guy apparently read from the same playbook as Cinderella’s dad. He’s not even technically in the story, but we know that he was married to Snow White’s mother and then after her death, remarried a smoking hot queen who was evil. If you have kids, you might want to take them into account when choosing a step-mom…

13. Mr Incredible – The Incredibles
For being a super hero, I can’t say that this guy is very extraordinary when it comes to fatherhood. I get that he is in a rut for having to hide his powers, but becoming a father mean sacrificing…it’s just part of the gig. And he doesn’t really get this even at the end. He has his happy ending because he gets to go back to crime fighting. I think it is just icing on the cake that his family is with him.

George Darline14. George Darling – Wendy, Michael & John’s Dad in Peter Pan
I don’t think you could consider George a very ‘present’ father. Letting his pre-teen daughter live in a nursery with two younger brothers while a dog serves as nursemaid wouldn’t win him any parenting awards by today’s standards. But what can you expect from a former lost boy right?

And the worst father award goes too……

The sultan15. Sultan – Jasmine’s Dad in Aladdin
If you read my previous post on this guy, you probably saw this one coming. Only thing left to say is that while he does choose to allow his daughter to marry for love, he does the opposite of the King in Frozen and potentially sets up his kingdom for ruin. A street rat does not a great ruler make.

I know I haven’t exhausted the Disney dads with this post…that’s why I called it ‘non-definitive’. I may do another one…who did I miss that should have definitely been included in the next 15?

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More to come. Follow me here ——> @DadsQuestions

Image Credit: disney.wikia.com

Why did she choose glass?

Now this just makes no sense to me. Absolutely no sense. I mean, I’m a dad so I don’t have much experience with wearing female footwear, but even I know that shoes made out of glass are an absolutely terrible proposition. And not just shoes; heels! Which according to my wife are horrible when they aren’t made out of a completely unmalleable material.  Cinderella-disneyscreencapsAnd Ms. Cinderella doesn’t just have to walk in these, she has to dance for hours followed by a little light running. She spends at least 5-6 hours in these things. Was this the Fairy Godmother’s first day on the job? There are few materials that could have been chosen more uncomfortable to wear than glass. I guess it does make the whole idea a little more plausible that Prince Charming would be able to find Cinderella with the heel left behind. He would just have to look for a girl who’s feet were bloody & bruised and who most likely won’t be able to stand up for the next 1 to 2 weeks.

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More to come. Follow me here: @DadsQuestions

Image Credit: disney.wikia.com