101 Dalmatians

A Coat Tailor?

I can get past the ridiculousness of wanting a coat made out of dalmatian fur, but the question that has me seeing spots is: who was Cruella going to have produce the actual coat? Now, I understand and can rationalize someone who is privileged wanting something that no one else can have. Cruella De Vil grew up in luxury so she needs something exclusive and extravagant. We would assume that someone in her position would ‘know people’ to get it taken care of. But I don’t know if that is the case. Take Horace & Jasper. These two boneheads are the ones hired to steal dogs instead the more obvious choice of hiring professional thieves. (or buying from elsewhere)  From what we can tell these two were going to be the ones to also kill and skin the canines. I will bet that they did not have any previous experience in this vocation let alone possess any sort of expertise in fur preparation. So, it comes back to my original question. Once she gets the most certainly mangled dog pelts, who would be willing to make such a coat? And how would this amoral person be able to cobble together such a coat from the mess received? I guess that’s why she needed to steal 101 Dogs for one coat…

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Image Credit –> disney.wikia.com

Non-Definitive, Completely Biased Ranking of Disney Dads

This post is going to be a little different format from my typical pointless questioning. With Father’s Day just around the corner, it’s got me thinking about being a dad a little more than usual. When it comes to Disney, most of the father examples provided to us are what I would consider lacking. The ones that tend to be the best are often killed off as fast as they are introduced. So when I think about the question of who is the best Disney Dad, I decided it was only best to create a list of 15 Dads and rank them. Why 15? Because Father’s Day is on June 15th this year. (that’s not true…just a happy coincidence.)

(15 Disney Dads ranked Best to Worst)

1. James – The Princess & the Frog
This father is the perfect example of a good dad that is gone too quickly. He pops in, gives some good fatherly advice and then dies a hero. This guy is my number 1 because he doesn’t just talk a good game, the way he lived his life instilled values in his daughter that made her strong & self-sufficient.

Marlin - finding nemo2. Marlin – Nemo’s Dad in Finding Nemo
Sure he is over protective but after the loss of his wife and other kids, you can’t blame the guy. Stopping at nothing and facing his fears to find his kid across a whole ocean is definitely commendable. Rapunzel’s dad should’ve watched this movie on how to respond to a lost kid…Oh, and his jokes are terrible. That’s a prerequisite for an awesome dad!

Pongo

 

3. Pongo – 101 Dalmations
I have to say that Pongo is along the same caliber of dad-ness as Marlin. When his kids are taken, he and his wife do everything in their power to save them. He also is willing to adopt 84 other puppies and raise them as his own. He is dad to the bone. (sorry for that)

 

Mufasa4. Mufasa – Simba’s Dad in The Lion King
James Earl Jones’s voice can make anything sound more grand than it is.  This fact leads us to believe that Mufasa has this thing parenting down. Most think this dad should be number 1, but I have to disagree. Unfortunately we can see from Simba’s ‘Can’t wait to be King’ song, that he is learning more from Mufasa’s actions than his words.

5. King – Elsa & Anna’s Dad in Frozen
This dad has gotten a lot of slack for isolating Elsa but as I discussed in my previous post, that might not have been the worst idea for the Kingdom’s sake. That said, his isolation actions punish Anna as well and create lots of ‘daddy issues’ that result in an engagement to a scoundrel and the freezing of a kingdom.

6. King Triton – Ariel’s Dad in The Little Mermaid
Not only is he running a Kingdom but also raising six girls on his own. This would be a hilarious 80’s sitcom come to think of it. Triton gets grief for being prejudice against humans but I think we can assume this is well founded. His harsh treatment of his daughter’s fondness of the dark side is a little misguided but can’t fault him too much for it. However, I don’t understand him giving up so easily against Ursula (see post) nor changing his whole belief system regarding humans because of one good encounter with Eric.

7. Fa Zhou – Mulan’s Dad
At the end of the day, this guy is a product of the culture. His treatment of his daughter is based on societal norms. We find it limiting and wrong but that’s because we are looking at it from a western, twenty-first century perspective. So, let’s calm down. Plus, he is the coolest looking bald guy in all Disney movies for sure!

 

8. King Stefan – Sleeping Beauty’s Dad
So he’s willing to not see his daughter for 18 years in order to hide her and keep her safe. Then he has her brought back to the palace the last day BEFORE the curse ends? That’s a mix of amazing fortitude and poor planning. Couldn’t he have had the celebration the next day?

 

 

9. The Great Prince of the Forest – Bambi’s Father
If people don’t even realize that you are Bambi’s father until his mom dies, maybe you are being a little too aloof. This buck’s cold attitude toward Bambi can be seen by many as helping Bambi into manhood…but I think there could be a better way to do it.

 

10. King – Rapunzel’s Dad in Tangled
I give this guy a lot of credit for honoring his lost daughter for 16 years but the rampant security issues in his castle are one of the main contributing factors to his daughter’s kidnapping in the first place. Also, you would hope that if his guards scoured every inch of the countryside they would have come across the tower that held Rapunzel. He really needs to shore up his ship.

Cinderellas dad11. Aristocrat Widower – Cinderella’s Dad
Points to this guy for understanding the importance of a mother in a young girl’s life. But even more demerits for both being duped by and willingly marrying Lady Tremaine.

12. King – Snow White’s Dad (not pictured)
This guy apparently read from the same playbook as Cinderella’s dad. He’s not even technically in the story, but we know that he was married to Snow White’s mother and then after her death, remarried a smoking hot queen who was evil. If you have kids, you might want to take them into account when choosing a step-mom…

13. Mr Incredible – The Incredibles
For being a super hero, I can’t say that this guy is very extraordinary when it comes to fatherhood. I get that he is in a rut for having to hide his powers, but becoming a father mean sacrificing…it’s just part of the gig. And he doesn’t really get this even at the end. He has his happy ending because he gets to go back to crime fighting. I think it is just icing on the cake that his family is with him.

George Darline14. George Darling – Wendy, Michael & John’s Dad in Peter Pan
I don’t think you could consider George a very ‘present’ father. Letting his pre-teen daughter live in a nursery with two younger brothers while a dog serves as nursemaid wouldn’t win him any parenting awards by today’s standards. But what can you expect from a former lost boy right?

And the worst father award goes too……

The sultan15. Sultan – Jasmine’s Dad in Aladdin
If you read my previous post on this guy, you probably saw this one coming. Only thing left to say is that while he does choose to allow his daughter to marry for love, he does the opposite of the King in Frozen and potentially sets up his kingdom for ruin. A street rat does not a great ruler make.

I know I haven’t exhausted the Disney dads with this post…that’s why I called it ‘non-definitive’. I may do another one…who did I miss that should have definitely been included in the next 15?

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Image Credit: disney.wikia.com

Was there a national dalmatian shortage?

We don’t know a great deal about Ms. De Vil. We know she is extremely wealthy, owns an expensive car and flat and is obsessed with gaudy fur coats. She also went to school with Anita yet somehow appears to have aged at twice the pace of her lovely classmate since then.  Oh, and her favorite color scheme is black and white. That’s about it. Not an extremely developed character to say the least. So, when she becomes obsessed with stealing Pongo & Perdita’s 15 newly born puppies to create a dalmatian skin fur coat, we don’t really know whether or not that is out of character for her. But that’s not my question. What I want to know is, why did this woman who has so much money need to resort to theft to procure a mere 15% of the raw material needed to produce said garment?Cruella De Vil

Some might say that she was already breaking the law having the article produced so what’s the big deal with adding complicity to her list of crimes? But I would say that explanation is barking up the wrong tree. If she had appropriated all of the canines through theft, you might be on the right trail, but she didn’t…only 15 were nicked.  I get that she cleaned out the local pet stores and there was most likely no more dalmatians in the surrounding boroughs, but surely there had to be some more in the next city over…or at least somewhere in England. Sure there was a time crunch to get the softest pelts, but a week or two to order a few more pups couldn’t have been an issue right? Why not have Horace & Jasper to drive a couple hours to a distant pet shop and pick up a few more dogs? But, no. Instead she chooses to hire these two boneheads to burglarize a close acquaintance she had recently had a confrontation with after a failed attempt to purchase their dogs. Is she trying to get spotted by the local police? There seems to be no other pawsable explanation that I can see. (I sincerely apologize for that last dog pun…)

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Image Credit: villains.wikia.com

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Related Post: Dalmatian Defamation

Dalmatian Defamation?

It was such a heartwarming scene at the end of 101 Dalmations when Roger & Anita decided to keep all of the dogs and buy a huge house in the country…until you really stop and think about it. The first obvious question is the ongoing costs for 101 dogs. According 101-dalmatiansto DalmationRescue.com it’s roughly $700 annually for feeding and veterinary care for just one dalmatian. So for all 101 dogs, that’s over $70,000 a year! A serious commitment no doubt, and not one to be made as flippantly as Roger does. But no worries because Roger and Anita are living high on the horse after his smash hit song entitled, Cruella De Vil. They have plenty of money coming in now to both care for the dogs and splurge on a new large house in the country. Not a care in the world. And why should they have any, right? I mean, he only wrote a song about a wealthy person that he names specifically, first and last name, and says some of the most slanderous things like: ‘at first you think Cruella is a devil’ or ‘this vampire bat, this inhuman beast, she ought to be locked up and never released.’ Listen, I’m no lawyer but this case looks pretty black & white to me. Even if Roger did know all the shenanigans that she got into with his dogs, which he doesn’t, he wouldn’t have a legal right to compose a song like that and not be subject to a defamation lawsuit. Even if he ended up winning, Cruella surely has the means to drag the case on indefinitely with appeals & motions until all of Roger & Anita’s windfall earnings are gone. With the threat of possible legal action, that definitely changes the whole house in the country and $70k annual pet care costs discussion. If I were him, I would give a little more time & consideration to my circumstances before I jumped into any sort of long term commitment with these dogs. To me that’s just common sense 101.

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