Did Ariel Ever Take a Bath? (pre-human)

This question takes me back to my childhood. Like most boys, I was never really fond of taking baths. I remember actually going a full week without one and I didn’t even bat an eye. I also used to think the act of water coming into contact with my skin was good enough to take care of any visible or invisible dirt that I had interacted with. A bath was equal to a swim, even if that swim was in a pond or lake. Water equaled clean. I have since reformed, but with that as a backdrop, I ask the question that many people have probably asked over the years: do those that live in the sea need to take a shower or bath? And to stay on topic for this blog, did Ariel or any of her merfolk feel the need to bathe? Don’t answer to quickly as there are a few angles in which we should review this query.

In the human world, we take showers for many reasons. Obviously cleanliness helps us remove filth from the world we live in. It removes things that we willingly put on our body like make-up, hair product or sunscreen. It helps us eliminate bacteria and other sickness causing agents that attach themselves to our skin. Outside of sanitary concerns, it also helps us from a social perspective keeping our own personal musk from going to far beyond our skin borders. And of course it feels good to take a shower, right?
So I ask again, do you think that Ariel, while in the ocean, ever took a ‘bath?’  I would assume while flipping her fins, she would surely come into contact with something grimey or slimey. Maybe some small sea bacteria would attach themselves to her while she swam around the reef. But we know that a shower would not be possible due to their complete immersion in the liquid. So, did she have specific brushes to scrape off the barnacles? And soap? How would that work? I guess she could use bar soap but you would think it would be hard to get it to apply itself underwater.
And if she had no concept of this human practice, why was she not completely confused by the bath she receives when she becomes a human. Sure the bubble are interesting, but were bubbles really something new to her? Every time a mermaid moved underwater, thousands of bubbles would appear around them.  Maybe she was just remembering her till-recent former life and hearing Sebastian’s words echo, ‘we got no troubles, life is the bubbles, under the sea.’
————————-
Image Credit —-> deviantart.com

Scar: The Desegregationalist?

Maybe we have Scar all wrong. If you watch The Lion King, you can easily come away with the view that Simba’s uncle is a devious usurping murderer. And this would not necessarily be incorrect. Yet, I do question if we are not presented with a somewhat lopsided view of the Royal family that predisposes us against the dark-haired lion. Mufasa, King of the Pridelands, is seen presenting his heir to resounding cheers and hoof-stamping from his subjects leading one to believe that every animal supports his rule. But we obviously know this isn’t true. I’m not talking about Scar…I’m talking about the hyenas. This group, characterized for their low intellect and ravenous appetites, have been banished from the lands and forced to live in an elephant graveyard. We know nothing about why or when this happened, only that Mufasa and team do everything to make sure this segregation continues to occur. But does he really have that right?

Hyenas are carnivores and therefore a competitor to the Circle of Life story that Mufasa bases his whole worldview around. The hyenas also eat the antelope and when they die become grass that is eaten by the antelope. Yet for some reason, they are not allowed to live in the lush, gated community that is the Pridelands. Why? They are doing what comes naturally to them, yet Mufasa does not allow them to mingle with the other local residents. We see cheetah’s in the opening sequence, so this wasn’t a sentence based on their diet. So what was it? When we look for an answer here, the obvious thing one could point to would be what the pridelands look like after Mufasa dies and Scar & The Hyenas take over. But that could be more a case of poor leadership vs. the fault of the hyenas.

So with that question swirling in the clouds of your mind, let’s revisit Scar. Say what you want about him, but one positive thing that he does is reach out to a disenfranchised group of underdogs that results in them having the same access as every other animal. Sure his motives may have been purely self-serving, but what politician doesn’t have ulterior motives for good works? And does the ends justify the means? When Scar’s obituary came out after he was digested by those he helped to free, I hope that it would mention that for a brief moment, Scar brought a little equality and pride to these lands.

———————–

Image Credit —> fanpop.com

A Coat Tailor?

I can get past the ridiculousness of wanting a coat made out of dalmatian fur, but the question that has me seeing spots is: who was Cruella going to have produce the actual coat? Now, I understand and can rationalize someone who is privileged wanting something that no one else can have. Cruella De Vil grew up in luxury so she needs something exclusive and extravagant. We would assume that someone in her position would ‘know people’ to get it taken care of. But I don’t know if that is the case. Take Horace & Jasper. These two boneheads are the ones hired to steal dogs instead the more obvious choice of hiring professional thieves. (or buying from elsewhere)  From what we can tell these two were going to be the ones to also kill and skin the canines. I will bet that they did not have any previous experience in this vocation let alone possess any sort of expertise in fur preparation. So, it comes back to my original question. Once she gets the most certainly mangled dog pelts, who would be willing to make such a coat? And how would this amoral person be able to cobble together such a coat from the mess received? I guess that’s why she needed to steal 101 Dogs for one coat…

—————-

Image Credit –> disney.wikia.com

What’s the Deal with Ursula?

Am I the only one who has an endless amount of questions about Ursula? When you first meet this octo-witch, you kind of take everything about her at face value. But when you start to dig a little deeper, the water gets more and more murky. First of all, she used to live in the palace. Did you catch her mentioning that when she was spying on Ariel? She didn’t just visit the palace, she lived there. Was she part of Triton’s council? Was she in politics? She obviously has to know something about the Oceanic legal system as she was able to best Triton with a legal document. For some reason, she ends up getting banished. I think we can all assume that her exile had something to do with her spells and general evilness. But none of that bothers me as much as the fact that she is part octopus. All the other half human creatures in Triton’s kingdom, that we see anyway, are half-fish. You don’t see any other shark-boys or seal-ladies floating around. Are we to assume that Ursula was changed into her current self by some sort of irreversible spell? Or could it be that she was an anomaly in the kingdom. A mutant of sorts. Could it be that she was looked upon differently her whole life because she had something different going on down below? Maybe she also ate her feelings which lead to her less than healthy physical state. Her appearance is definitely an issue she struggles with regardless of  if it was enchantment or genetic. She didn’t seem too keen on merpeeps who want to change something about their physical appearance.  Could it be jealousy? Remember the ugly merpeople she makes pretty only to have them become part of her living garden? I know every movie needs a villain but maybe she is not the one who is truly at fault here. What about the merparents out there that are obviously not educating their children about the direct link between the rash of local disappearances and a visit with Ursula? Maybe she is doing the ocean a favor by weeding out the stupider merfolk. I we could chalk this up to survival of the…unfittest?

—————————-

Image Credit: disney.wikia.com

Who hired these guys?

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about the lack of accountability for the castle guards in the movie Aladdin. While they were severely lacking in morals & loyalty, they are not the only protectors of the realm that need some serious additional training. If you’ve watched Tangled, you will know what I mean. I don’t think I have ever seen more consistent incompetence among a group of men then I do from this squad. It seems that the only thing they are good at is not protecting the kingdom or the royal family. Let’s review their track record. First, they allow an elderly woman to scale the castle walls and kidnap the baby Princess. While I am not sure how Mother Gothel would have made it up to the balcony in the first place due to her advanced state, someone should have seen her performing this feat from one of their guard-posts. But no one did. Then after the crime is committed, these geniuses are somehow unable to find a tower housing the child in the middle of the woods within walking distance of the castle. Surely they would have scoured every inch of the countryside, right? I guess not. Later on, this same band of merry men allow Flynn and the Dynamic Duo to steal the most treasured royal possession, the lost princess’s crown, right from under their noses…literally. But they end up redeeming themselves right? Nope. They are comically thwarted by a band of thugs who not only break Flynn out of prison but elude capture themselves in the process. It almost makes me wish that Rapunzel wouldn’t have been returned to the King & Queen. If the King is willing to allow such shabby work from those sworn to protect him and his family, I’m not sure what type of strong parental figure he really is. Maybe she is better off without them. I’m serious…I mean, he ends up putting a horse in charge of his entire royal force at the end of the movie and arms them all with frying pans….

———————-

More to come. Follow me here –> @DadsQuestions

Image Credit: disney.wikia.com

Why?

I always try to add a touch of sarcasm & wit on this blog, but the news I just read has made me place that on hold for this post. I just read that Robin Williams has died. I am not trying to capitalize on this tragedy or ‘break this news,’ I am merely trying to give a little salute to this Disney icon. When I first saw Aladdin, I wanted to be Robin Williams. His voices, comedic timing and pure insanity amazed me and inspired me to embrace my inner goof and pursue theater. The Genie will remain one of my favorite Disney characters of all time. He will be missed.

———————————-

Image Credit: wikia.disney.com

Does Hakuna Matata also mean ‘No Acuity?’

Ok. Let’s go over the plan again. There is a large number predators that are big and strong and will stop at nothing to devour you both if you’re discovered. They are holding another group captive and we are going to save them. These prisoners are a group of ladies that I knew a long time ago and based on the actions of my recent one night stand, they’re probably starving as well and will also want to consume you if they catch your scent. But don’t worry about that, they’ll be too focused on gaining freedom to be thinking about food. Once we oust the evil dictator I will reclaim my throne and reestablish the Circle of Life in the Pride Lands. What’s the Circle of Life? Oh, it’s just a little thing that my dad taught me. Basically it means that my kind can kill and eat whatever we want because when we die we become grass and others like you and your kind can ‘eat’ us. It’s not exactly the same thing, I agree, but is sounds pretty nice, doesn’t it? You’re right…it isn’t really a circle either…more like a pyramid. Guess I never really thought about it too much. No, I haven’t considered establishing a strict vegetarian lifestyle when I am King, why? Oh, right. Because you and Pumbaa would be a the perfect victory feast for a band of hungry, battle-weary lionesses….hadn’t thought of that either. Oh well, too late now. Hakuna Matata!

I can appreciate that they are doing it to help their friend. It is a very valiant thing after all. The only problem that that this is a lose-lose proposition for these two. Sure they get rid of one group of meat-eaters, only to have another group of carnivores take their place? Wasn’t Nala trying to kill & eat Pumbaa before Simba stopped her? Her shock of seeing him abated her hunger for a bit but I am sure there wasn’t time for Simba to share and get Nala on board with the whole ‘I only eat bugs’ thing. Disney has a way of having couples not discuss those important types of things before they make life altering decisions. (see my Little Mermaid post). I don’t think Timon really saw what was happening. He was the one who didn’t have a clue. When Simba fell in love, the real bottom line is that it would have been better for Timon & Pumbaa if their trio had gone down to two.

(Special Thanks to Abigail for drawing this scene from a Lion King Screenshot! She does a great job and shows her step by step process on her blog. Take a look: http://www.drawingdisney.wordpress.com)

—————————

More to come: Follow me here —-> @DadsQuestions

Image Credit: drawingdisney.wordpress.com

What happened to the Fish Tank crew?

Nemo’s father embarks upon an amazing adventure in the hopes of rescuing his son. Marlin fights sharks, jelly fish and even a giant whale. He surfs the waves with sea turtles and rides in a pelican’s mouth to escape hungry seagulls. He is nearly eaten or killed numerous times, but gets his happy ending and even makes a good friend in the process. And that is what the writer’s want you to focus on at the end of this film. What they want you to have Dori-like memory on is the tragic ending of 5 characters who were a truly integral part to both the plot and character progression of the story: the fish tank crew.

 
When Nemo first encounters this group, their leader Gill only sees him as a means to an end. A chance to escape. Yet over the course of Nemo’s short stay, the entire crew adopts him and do everything they can to protect him. While Nemo’s courage to escape is fueled by the news of his Dad’s rescue plan, the idea and skills needed to accomplish this feat come from his new family. Although, not intended, Nemo drains to safety leaving everyone in his wake carrying with him only the lessons he learned while in the tank. He uses these almost immediately to rescue Dori when she is caught in the fisherman’s net. We instantly become engulfed in this new adventure for Nemo and quickly forget those that were left behind. But then something strange happens…
We get a quick glimpse of the fish tank crew floating beside the dock in their sealed plastic bags just outside of the Dentist’s office window. While the last lines from these characters are whimsical, it is overshadowed by how truly dire their situation is. Not only are they trapped in an enclosed space with minimal amounts of water for breathing, they are also terribly exposed to any number of predators including the seagulls that cover the aforementioned dock. Instead of the happy ending vibe we are all supposed to feel, I tend to get a bittersweet taste in my mouth. Like being excited for the safe return of Private Ryan but also feeling the sadness over the loss of all the men that died to make his rescue possible. You know, for a story about a clown fish, that ending isn’t very funny.

(NOTE: This post was written before the sequel, Finding Dori, is released in case the crew is part of the new cast.)

——————————

More to come. Follow me here —> @DadsQuestions

Image Credit: galleryhip.com

How Bad is Aladdin’s Memory?

Remember the opening scene of Aladdin where he is chased mercilessly by the palace guards for stealing a loaf of bread? Or when he is arrested by the same guards who also brazenly disobey direct orders from the Princess? Or the time they grab the foreign dignitary & potential suitor visiting the palace and try to drown him? What about when the Sultan & the Princess are enslaved by a former adviser and they are conspicuously absent from the rescue party? I bet you remember. I bet someone else probably remembers too: Aladdin. Yet he allows each and everyone of this seedy bunch to remain the primary protectors of the kingdom. How could you trust this group? I’m sure he probably tells himself they were just ‘following orders,’ but that brings into question where their loyalty lies. If it were me, I would have seen if there was any room for a few more guests in Jafar’s lamp before the Genie chucked it into the Cave of Wonders. It’s barbaric, but hey, it’s atonement.

——————————

More to come. Follow me here —> @DadsQuestions

Image Credit: wikia.disney.com

How come only the mice talk?

I’m not going to rule out that she is crazy. There is a strong possibility that our heroine has had ‘one too many hits with the snake.’ I wouldn’t blame her though. She loses her father and immediately becomes enslaved by her step-mother and step-sisters. Her only friends are the wildlife that come in through her open windows and doors. I mean, she wakes up in the morning singing so there has to be something amiss. But it still doesn’t make sense why only Jacques, Gus Gus and the other mice can speak, yet this skill alludes all of the other animals…even Lucifer! Or maybe they can talk and choose not to because she only makes outfits for those little rodents. I mean, Cinderella gets a whole dress meticulously designed by the local aviary residents and what do they get? A handkerchief on the head? I wouldn’t talk to her either…

—————————————–

More to come. Follow me here —> @DadsQuestions

Image Credit: wikia.disney.com